| Hardly What I'd call a Friendship |
[06 Dec 2006|03:58pm] |
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mood |
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Michelle and I have ended our friendship.
To be honest I could fucking care less.
To be told im the judgemental and heartless one, is so wrong in itself.
Seriously, who was up at 2 am on the phone with you, because JOSH wouldnt talk to you after he fucked you..
Get over it.
He got what he wanted, and you kept giving it.
Then looking for sympathy in places it should never have came from.
You tell me im gonna be a gutter slut.
Well i tell you you've sunk as low if not lower, so in the end, wouldn't I just be joining you?
No one should pity you.
You put yourself where you are.
Dont tell me my parents give me things all the time, dont tell me i get what i want.. I pay my own bills too.
dont tell me im a liar, when you moved away and wouldn't know half the shit in my life.
Dont tell me im the horrible person, you're the one who moved over 170 miles away, over some boy you knew wasnt worth it. Then whine, whine when you wanted to come back.
And Whine, when we offered the help. But tell me you're the one who got out.. If you got out, why would ever want to fucking come back? You told us you wanted to... Don't lie. You're nothing.. You think you're so perfect, but you aren't. No one is. You think you're so pretty, and everyone just agrees to make you happy, so you won't cry about it later.
The differance between us is.. You think you can hurt me, but the truth is. I laugh, when you insult me.
You on the other hand, come back for more, and then tell everyone how horrible I am.. Fuck you.
You know..
You also don't threaten suicide, t hen lie about. We have the conversation saved to proove it. You are definatly the attention whore, then tell everyone that you never did.. BULLSHIT. You're dumb, you're a slut, and you don't deserve good friends. I put up with the bullshit long enough, sure I may be fat, and sure I may not be gorgeous, but I've got a good head on my shoulders, and goals more than a GED and living with my mommy for support. Don't even bother replying to this, because illl delete the comment, I really could care less what you say. You mean nothing to me anymore. Im surpised you did for this long..
And I know you'll be reading this, you're a like stalker to everyone.. You lurk.. You're pathetic.
OH AND PS: to be quite honest, i only told danielle off to make you shut up. I really do think she is prettier than you, and i think you really want to be her, its who you are, you're a jelous person. And you always will be.
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| Forgetful! |
[05 Nov 2006|01:00am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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the suffering - aiden |
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I haven't updated lately and I'm quite forgetful lately, but being sick has taken quite a bit out of me.. I'm sure you're all like.. Oh stop, no more excuses, and guess what, there is no more excuses or complaints. I'm feeling better tonight, but then again, I also have those moments. And. Oh yeah. I'm doing good in my relationship for the most part, yea we fight/argue or w/e. But isn't that a healthy thing to do. Not everything can be perfect.. School is going okay, and I can't find a reason to complain there, other than I hate being up so early. And work. Well I haven't been in 2 months but I go back on monday!
Robert's leaving for the pass soon, the winter season is going to be living hell. Not because of the snow this year either, but because even though I'll see robert once a week, I'm going to miss him ALOT. :( And that's upsetting and all to me. But none of that yet, because he is still here.
Oh.. Hum. I don't know what else is going on. Other than went and saw Aiden on monday, and.. Been the afew shows this last month or two, but... Nothing too exciting..
I'm tired, I think i'm going to bed.
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[28 Oct 2006|12:09pm] |
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my tummy hurts.. GAY
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[24 Oct 2006|11:40pm] |
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My myspace bloggy thingy is fucking gay!! I'd like to make that known!!
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[24 Oct 2006|08:36am] |
Is it completely possible, to want to chop my body apart?? Because I fucking hate it oh so much..
Seriously, who can be sick this damn long, robert and i are miserable! This illness thing, has to fucking stop soon or i'm going to go effin crazy!
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[10 Oct 2006|08:37am] |
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FUCK. :D
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[09 Oct 2006|09:02pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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On the last day - Below One Hundred |
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Im sick of feeling worthless when it comes to my family. The only thing im basically good for to them lately, is cleaning.. My dad belives that im going to be a drop out, because I took my boyfriend to the hospital today. didnt go to class. Then.. Im no good because I dont feel good. Im just a peice of shit because of that. Wtf. I got yelled at for not feeling good. When is this going to end. I can't wait to be the fuck out of here, just so I never have to come back.
I want to run away from everyone and everything. And leave my fucking stupid past behind me. It's giving me nothing but stress, and trouble. Geez, don't people know when enough is ENOUGH. Shitfuckbitchwhorecuntstupidcocksuckingbastards. IM SICK OF IT ALL. GODDAMNIT! My parents think I'm faking it. My mom's two-faced. Tells me she belives me then sides with my dad.. The only person who basically gives a damn in my life is Robert, I feel like shit emotionally and physically 90% of my life.. Im just DONE! done done done done done! I'm done with dealing with other people's drama, I've got my own life to worry about.. Not everyone else's problems that they expect pitty for. okay? Sure I give a damn about people, but im sick of being the one person who's supposed to always give up on myself to help everyone else with everything.. THAT INCLUDES MY PARENTS. I'm not giving up on going to shows or pursing what I love.. Just because they think that shows are nothing good for me, that all its doing is corrupting me..
Well news flash to the mommy and daddy. Society in general is corrupting your little girl, and she doesn't give a fuck! I wouldn't be such a cunt if I wasn't a sheltered spoiled brat my entire life. So fuck you.. Its your fault. Stop saying I have problems.. Because my problem is family who hates me. My problem is I don't even have time for my own problems, I'm too busy dealing with everyone else's bullshit, school, work, and trying to lead my life as much as I can without driving myself up the wall.
I seriously give up anymore. Why do I even bother?
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[09 Oct 2006|06:44pm] |
Bleh, I still feel so damn icky.
Wtf is going on with my body?
GAY.
:(
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[09 Oct 2006|09:31am] |
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Totally exhausted. Wtf. I slept and I slept and I slept. Now im going to beat robert for still being in bed, when the reason im up is to take him for his catscan.
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[09 Oct 2006|06:49am] |
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mood |
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I slept most of my day away, but exciting news.. I go back to work this week somtime. :) Yay I'll be making money again. And Roberts being a bed theif, but I guess I told him he could totally sleep in my bed, and I'd sleep on the couch tonight. What am I thinking? I donno. but my backs gonna be dead in the AM. He has his catscan in the morning. His bearded dragon is a stinky little shit.. Anddd.. Bascially I'm sitting here bored, because I'm not sure if I'm completely ready for bed yet. Considering I slept, and slept and slept, cause I feel like SHIT. woohoo. What fun!?!?!
I had a killer migrane most of the day, and a stomach ache, which proceeded to get worse when I got in the car and drove to my work earlier. Well which started out as a misconception of what robert had to do before his catscan. It's a good thing he called the Imaging department at the hospital before he went and bought the medical stuff he thought he needed.
Right now I'm feeling a tad better, not as queasy, and dizzy, but still a bit lightheaded.
I'm not sure what more to say, but I'm sure more will come to mind, in the process of roberts LJ being updated.
ADD HIS BTW. http://snugglesxcore.livejournal.com
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[09 Oct 2006|12:00am] |
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skjflkdsjafkldjsaklfjadkljkldsajklfdsa BEDTIME
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[08 Oct 2006|08:53am] |
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mood |
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Woke up feeling shitty, got yelled at by michelle, because apparently im a horrible friend for not driving all the way there while i feel like shit. Wow. Everyone else can not feel good and ditch me, but I can't. Hmn lovely. w/e.
Re-Dyed my hair, and then went to yakima and got it cut at supercut's cuz they were the only ones without mass appointments.
Got some new pants, and bandana's.. and stuff. Kat bought me glitter. and eyeliner.. Lol. We're dorks. Got Kat hair extensions.
Took pics for josh and joe.
Ate.
Went here.
Now im going to bed.
NIGHT.
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[04 Oct 2006|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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You know what greatly pisses me off?
People who have to be fake.. Or more or less the expectation of being fake.
To get things that are essential.
Take my parents for instance..
The other night we went out for a dinner at the eagles, my dad said it was okay for robert to wear a plain t-shirt, and jeans.. But when I wanted to wear a fall from grace shirt, I was told hell no. All over a scholarship, that in the long run... I really don't think will matter much to me, if I can't be myself to recive it.
Another thing that really pisses me off or at least greatly annoys me..
Is when people, are sitting behind you in a class or somthing, with their feet anywhere on or by your chairs, and they tap/rock/or wiggle their feet exsessivly, out of boredom.. Sure, I do my share of it, but I'm the person who quietly ignores it, even when it annoys the hell out of me.. I ignore basically EVERYTHING that annoys me..
Oh.. and my hearing.. IT REALLY REALLY REALLY annoys me.. for some reason, I have great hearing, and I really don't want it, cause I hear.. EVERYTHING.. Even people chewing, far enough away, that I shouldn't be able to hear it... AND IT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Exspecially when people are eatting slightly crunchy foods, and im like.. Twitching...
Just the thought of it.. EECK.. I know I'm weird.
I'm also quite pissed off, because of the fact that I have NO credit history what so ever.. So I can't start making payments on the 2007 chevy aveo that I wanted.. because my dad all the sudden changed his mind, and said he wouldn't co-sign for the car for me.. So they could go off his credit.. Gayyy. So I belive now im setting my sights on a 87 honda accord thats for sale, cause it's pretty cute..
Besides, I adore honda's. :D
And I wanted an automatic.. Not matter what.. :)
Anyways.. Yep.. I think that's about it.. Now imma kick robert's ass for never updating his LJ.. Yeppers.
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[18 Sep 2006|05:17am] |
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Totally bummed because I've been hella sick for the last few weeks, and even though I'm finally getting better, I'm afraid I'm going to loose my job. And if I do, I won't be able to pay my cell phone bill, or any of that crap.. Oh snap. Anyways.. I dont think I'll be able to which'll really suck ass.
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